literally had 100 drinks last night.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This house was built for laser tag.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
