I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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