so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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