It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you never un-have a 4some
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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