it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
