I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
