i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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