White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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