Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
