Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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