i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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