I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
