This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
