Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
