oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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