So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
