hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
