his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
