what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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