There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I need a beard to bite.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
