it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
there is puke in my bra ... again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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