so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
