he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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