my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
