I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
