Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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