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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
