I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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