wake up i wanna do it froggy style
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
