He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
