Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
