i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
