I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We need a shit load of segways right now
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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