He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
