i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
