go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
