yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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