thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Mom said you looked used
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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