I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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