So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
