He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
