It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
