and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
