his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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