Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize