I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
