they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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