I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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