It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
