dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
