sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
