so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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