Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
