it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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