I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
