he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
