is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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