So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This is my gift to your gina
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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