I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
