Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
