Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
