it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my being single is dangerous.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
