the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
