she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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