Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig

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  (314): My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig http://tfl.nu/q8sk
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (876)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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  (574): pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face. http://tfl.nu/q45o
  Replies (42) Good night (1576) Bad night (5229)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

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  (724): I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance http://tfl.nu/0lmn
  Replies (8) Good night (3319) Bad night (653)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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  (817): Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes http://tfl.nu/2z3z
  Replies (44) Good night (965) Bad night (4272)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"

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  (617): college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place" http://tfl.nu/mdbw
  Replies (39) Good night (6182) Bad night (1116)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.

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  (518): he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name. http://tfl.nu/imhe
  Replies (63) Good night (6820) Bad night (2209)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?

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  (815): Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer? http://tfl.nu/917w
  Replies (11) Good night (3527) Bad night (1851)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis

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  (540): Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis http://tfl.nu/8a3h
  Replies (13) Good night (3411) Bad night (767)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We welcome drunken adversity.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  With open legs.

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  (724): We welcome drunken adversity. (1-724): With open legs. http://tfl.nu/iqs6
  Replies (12) Good night (3635) Bad night (1261)
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  (714): View more from California

  The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.

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  (714): The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night. http://tfl.nu/euw3
  Replies (16) Good night (690) Bad night (2843)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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  (724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs
  Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (686)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?

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  (406): So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen? http://tfl.nu/aobn
  Replies (2) Good night (1607) Bad night (577)
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  (916): View more from California

  No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.

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  (916): No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street. http://tfl.nu/lc9z
  Replies (6) Good night (1485) Bad night (528)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.

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  (417): Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail. http://tfl.nu/0q6b
  Replies (3) Good night (1158) Bad night (451)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.

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  (218): I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench. http://tfl.nu/hyfp
  Replies (5) Good night (295) Bad night (543)

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