I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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