god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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