McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?