I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.