I hope mine doesn't look like that
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.