We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
