Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
